


Nightmare Land

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canonical Character Death, Complicated Relationships, Except Ben, Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Protective Poe Dameron, Redeemed Ben Solo, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23345059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Neither of them can sleep.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Nightmare Land

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Poe can’t sleep. He supposes it’s nothing new, in the end — after the years he’s had, can he sleep? Is he allowed to sleep? Snap’s dead. Holdo’s dead. And —  
  
Poe growls in frustration, turns over on his side. He needs to sleep. Dear stars, he needs to sleep —  
  
His thoughts are cut off by a scream across the hall from Ben’s room.  
  
***  
  
Poe doesn’t walk as much as run to Ben’s bedroom. There’s a part of him that knows that he owes Kylo Ren nothing, and he doesn’t. He’s doing it because he still loves Ben. Loves Ben, with a sort of fury that long ago, would have led him to tear apart the fabric of the galaxy itself. For Ben. He would damn the First Order itself if it meant Ben was safe.   
  
Ben’s tossing, turning, thrashing about in his bed. Poe thinks that he hears names coming out of Ben’s mouth, names that sound like “Trudgen” and “Cardo", and he doesn’t know who the stang Ben’s talking about, but he calls out to him anyway. “You’re having a nightmare, Ben!”  
  
Ben’s eyes snap open in that moment, and he’s staring, almost unfocused, at Poe. Then, “Poe...”  
  
“It’s me.”  
  
“You’re here. I’m safe.” The way Ben says it makes Poe’s chest feel like it’s being squeezed in a vise.   
  
“Of course, Ben,” Poe says softly. “You don’t get it, do you? I don’t forgive you. Yet. But it doesn’t mean I want to see you in pain.”  
  
Ben nods. He sits up, a bit disheveled and clearly unhappy, but there nonetheless.   
  
“I dreamed about them,” he says. “The Knights. I killed them all. They’d followed me to Exegol. I had to...” And the way Ben’s shaking, it’s clear that he’s about to have a panic attack. “Just because I killed them and helped kill Palpatine doesn’t...it doesn’t make up for everything. I killed my own father, I tortured you, I...”  
  
What is Poe supposed to say to that? After all, Ben hurt him, and yet...he feels sorry for him. He should just ignore Ben. He can’t, though, because this is Ben he’s talking about. The boy he was friends with, the man his heart would have beat for, if it so desired.   
  
“It’s a start,” Poe says. Then, “Why didn’t you come back earlier?”  
  
Ben swallows. “I didn’t think anyone would forgive me,” he says. “I doubt you’d forgive me now.”  
  
Poe nods.  
  
“I doubt...” Ben laughs, a bit strained in that moment. “I doubt you’d even love me if you knew what I’d done.”  
  
Something in Poe gives way.   
  
“You don’t get it, do you?” He wants to trace a line down Ben’s face where the scar Rey left him remains. A reminder that Kylo was still human, still sentient, still a man — someone with Ben still in there wouldn’t have all but crumbled upon killing his father. “I love you. Even after all this time, I love you. Even after what you’ve done, after what’s been done to you.”  
  
"What if you deserve better?” Ben says.   
  
"You’re enough.” Poe’s hand is trembling. He wants to touch Ben, craves it, but he’s restraining himself. Purposely. He doesn’t know if it’s wise — if Ben wants it, for that matter.   
  
Ben speaks. “Can you...stay a while? Here?”  
  
He pats a spare space by him, in the bed. Poe freezes for a moment — it all seems too close, and he's nervous. He’s bad news for Ben too.   
  
Can they be bad news together?  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Poe climbs into bed beside Ben — who’s starting to drift off again. “I feel better when I’m with you,” he murmurs.   
  
“Rey?”  
  
“She’s my cousin. The Emperor...told me, when he revealed her identity to me.”  
  
“Right.” Poe doesn’t know what to make of that.  
  
"The Emperor was my grandfather’s creator. I wouldn’t call him my great-grandfather. So...you can do the math from here.” Ben sighs. “We’re the last of the Skywalker line. It’s my fault.”  
  
Poe shakes his head. “Your mother loved you,” he says. “She wanted to help you.”  
  
“I’m still getting used to that.”  
  
“It’s true. I love you, Ben.” Poe traces along the line of Ben’s shoulder. "If I knew the full extent of what happened, if I could have saved you...I would have.”  
  
Ben’s drifting off, seeming calmer. “You already are saving me. More than you know...”  
  
Poe waits until Ben’s asleep again — just to look, really look, at the man he still loves in spite of the fact his feelings are a maelstrom. The way his black hair scatters around his face, the way his eyelashes contrast against snowy, mole-dotted skin.  
  
“I’m here,” he says. “I’m here, Ben.”  
  
He drifts into sleep, and for a moment, he can imagine what the galaxy would have been like if it had been kinder, and things hadn’t gone wrong. 


End file.
